Yeah, I Killed Them
by Matrilineal
Summary: Sasuke has acquired a Death Note? Will he go Godcrazy like Raito, or does he have other plans in mind...? [NaruSasu, SasuNaru at the End] [Character Death] [Rated Teen for Mild Swearing]


Disclaimer: I own nothing

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"I'll sssseee you tomorrow, Sssasuke-kun." Orochimaru hissed coyly, sending a small smirk towards the pale Uchiha before disappearing around the next corner.

At the sound of his name, Sasuke couldn't help but stiffen with apparent disgust. God. It was only for Itachi that he endured that creepy pedophile. Living in fear of being raped by the weird, old, snake obsessed Sannin every second he was staying at Sound was a bit more than he could take half the time. Hence the reason he went out, found several sturdy, but rather noisy, looking locks, and attached him to his door. The almost deafening squeaking sounds would be taken, if opened by anyone other than himself, as a sign to run for the hills, and escape a vile fate such as losing his virginity to Orochimaru.

In knowing that, it was not far-fetched to say that Sasuke hated the man. He smirked at the thought of actually offing the old man himself one day. And, as he was so caught up in his only mildly disturbing thoughts ( XD ), the boy didn't notice the small black notebook falling from the ceiling until after it smacked him in the face.

Sitting up, startled, he quickly collected himself and frowned at the note in his lap. What the hell? Since when did things like that fall from the sky? Actually, since when did things like that fall from the sky, and end up hitting someone who wasn't outside in the first place? No holes in the ceiling, either…

Sasuke frowned down at the strange object. It didn't look like any sort of weapon, so… Curiously, he quickly reached out and grabbed it, holding it away from himself for a moment.

…

Nothing happened.

Alright. So it _still_ wasn't a weapon. Then, that meant it was just a normal notebook? A normal notebook that could phase through ceilings…? His dark eyes quickly scanned over the cover. Wonderful. The words were in English. Luckily, though, Sound seemed to see the importance of teaching its occupants foreign languages, unlike Konoha.

"Desu… Noto?"

The Uchiha flipped it open and skimmed through the words on the first few pages. It didn't matter, though. He had only learned a small amount of English. It definitely wasn't enough to read all that. But still. He caught the just of it. Something about writing people's names down in the book, and them dying. Or… Did it mean that _he_ would die? No. It was definitely the other person.

And, taking him less than three seconds to magically find a pen, Sasuke scribbled down a name. Just to test it.

Now… Forty seconds…

…Thirty…

Twenty-two…

…Thirteen…

…Four…

One…

…

Nothing. Figures. It was just a stupid prank.

Throwing it onto the foot of the bed, he scowled at it. Getting his hopes up like that… Once again, the Uchiha was torn from his thoughts as someone screamed. Loud. He actually thought that his ears would start to bleed. But, after several panicked calls of 'Orochimaru-sama', the pain was soon dulled over with a strong sense of satisfaction and shock. It wasn't a prank… Awesome.

Then, as Sasuke speedily grabbed the Death Note, and wrote down another name, Uchiha Itachi died 1234 miles away from Sasuke.

Cause of Death: Being impaled by a sharp stick after tripping over nothing.

Humiliation, AND death! Take that bitch. ( XDD ) Exact words running through Sasuke's head.

-lawlzi'mnotdoneyetthisisjustabreak-

Several days later after getting done not caring about either of the people he killed, Sasuke had left the Sound. Though, it was not long until he gained another companion. Landing not-so-gracefully behind the Uchiha stood a contentedly grinning Ryuk.

"So you're the one who found the note…?" The Shinigami chuckled darkly. Damn it! Why did he always have to possess the gay ones? Raito, and now this guy… Jeez.

"No. You dropped it on me." The pale boy replied calmly without turning around.

"Th—" Ryuk was cut off as he caught the note flying towards his head.

"I'm done. You can keep it."

Frowning, the taller of the two males flipped through the book. The only page that had names written on it was the first. "You only wrote two names in…? Are you sure you don't want to—"

"No."

"Bu—"

"No."

"I di—"

"No. Get lost."

Dejectedly, Ryuk turned to leave, second Death Note in hand. Raito was a lot more fun… Was no one that crazy nowadays?

So as in all stories with a happy ending, Sasuke skipped back to Konoha, admitted his love to Naruto, killed Sakura, and flew over the nearest rainbow on unicorns with the baby they had somehow acquired (though Sasuke would never admit to ever knowing that woman who screamed at them every time they walked down the street).

THE END.

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A.N.- XD I'm hyperrr

Ah well. Read and review puh-leese.

:3

And on another note, this story made me sad. Orochimaru's my favorite character, so it's depressing to kill him off in such a stupid way. I also like Itachi, but I'm too sugar-high to care right now.

x33333


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